My love for food

Me and food. It’s a dangerous combination. I eat a lot, just because I like to. Some people think it’s strange that I eat that much food. But most of them just accept it. I don’t know what it is about food that I like so much. It might be just the taste only, but I think it’s because I just enjoy eating. Whenever I’m bored, I’ll be eating. Most of my friends just say immediately “there is the food, pick what you want”. Sometimes it’s a little bit awkward that everybody thinks I’m always eating, because I don’t ALWAYS eat. But it’s true, I like eating and I’m proud of it. I’m not that kind of girl, who watches what she eats because she wants to be skinny. I like my body, even when I’ll be gaining a lot of weight. 

What's wrong with us?

Why do people do things they actually don’t want to do? Why do people expect so much from others? But most of all what’s wrong with us? Why can’t we be who we want to be? It went wrong a long time ago.

This society sucks. It’s not our fault. We can’t do much about it. But we do get punished for it. So what to do about that? We just have to be ourselves. We shouldn’t care about what others say or what they think. We should live the life we want to live. We should speak up. We should stand in for ourselves. We have to take control by ourselves. We shouldn’t be the puppets of the world. So whenever you want to: speak for yourself. Always think for yourself and never believe something without questioning it first. Life is too short to be a robot. So don’t be one. 

Like a flower

Love is a naughty creature. It gives you so much different feelings. It can destroy you or it can fix you. It’s just something so powerful people are afraid of it. Love is weird and most of the time we don’t understand love.  It makes us insecure. We don’t get it. But we should be happy with love. We shouldn’t be waiting forever. And we won’t, but you just need to give it time, time to grow. Like a flower. You give it some water, you give it some light and before you know there is a beautiful flower. That’s what love is. Love can’t be forced, but it can grow. 

What's behind the mask

Life isn’t easy but life goes on. What has happened in the past stays in the past. You forget about it, you forgive it. The future is what’s holding us together. The possibility to change what went wrong. So we shouldn’t look back, not in the wrong way. Everything that has happened, has led to where we are now.  The past created us the way we are at this moment. And the future will make us what we want to become. No one can bring us down in any way, because we all know one thing for sure: we will follow our dreams and become who we want to be. We are fighters, fighting for the only person we should be. We should be ourselves. 

Birds

Birds

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on earth. Then I ask myself the same question.

I want to fly away, but also I want to stay. To stay with my friends, stay for the things I have. I don’t want to give up. I want to show who I am and what I am becoming. I want others to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself, but flying away sounds so lovely. Just leaving everything and starting all over. Starting clean, without the past following; without old things that bring you down. For now I’ll stay, but slowly I am moving away, away to where my dreams send me to.  

Adult?

Adult?

I became 17 this week. 17. Such a strange number. It’s like a short stop between 2 big things. There isn’t changing anything. Although, it feels weird to say: “I am 17.” I have lived already 17 years of my life. It feels so long but also so short. Well I’m just going to enjoy every next year and celebrate. Acting like an adult during the day, being a teenager during the night. 

The sun and the moon

The sun and the moon

At night looking outside. Hoping to see the moon. Hoping to see stars. Hoping there won’t be anything standing in their way.

When it’s daytime. Looking outside. Looking up to the sky. Hoping to see the sun. Hoping there are no clouds.

When the sun goes up and the moon goes down. Hoping to see them both. Hoping to be a cloud.

The sun touches the moon with her beams and the moon lights up. Waiting for the sun to come up again.

Being the sun. Being the moon.

Shining on.

Living on.

Fly away

Sometimes you just want to fly away. You want to go someplace where you can leave everything behind. Where you can be who you want to be and you don’t have to pretend. But most of the time you can’t. It sucks. You can’t just leave everything behind like you would want to. Maybe that’s just how it should be. Maybe running away isn’t the right thing to do. So you don’t. You just keep going so nobody wins from you. You can’t let them get right. You fight back and you enjoy it. You live. You feel like you can handle the world. All of it. So then you could fly right? So fly away. With your mind but stay on the ground with your body. And then you will have reached whatever you wanted: to be able to fly away to a place where you can be yourself and where you can leave everything behind. It’s called LIFE.

Broken

Pain goes true your body. You don’t want this to happen. You need this to stop. Let it just all be a bad dream, so you could wake up and be happy again, because you know it’s not true. Reality is hard. Bad dreams come true. Nothing goes right. When you go through times like this, you can’t see anything bright. You just want the pain to go away. You regret the things that caused the pain. You regret even caring. You are broken. Your hart is falling apart and you can’t see where the pieces fall. There is no one to glue your hart, so you will have to do it by your own. And yes, it’s hard hard hard. I know it’s a cliché BUT life goes on!!  Whenever your hart is broken, you should just do things that make you happy.  It feels like your life has no meaning anymore. You don’t understand, but just think about all the happy things in life. They are the beautiful memories where you should think about. They happened for a reason, so you would never forget. Don’t ever forget about the fun things you did or happened. Just remember, you are not the only one and like they say:

Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

Hello spring!

Finally spring! Winter has had time enough; it’s time for some change. It’s not that chilly outside anymore and when the sun shines, it’s a beautiful day. It makes me happy. That feeling was lost for a while. That feeling when you smile for no reason, enjoy every little thing. I love it. Darkness has done his job, now it’s happiness who works. I just want to go outside and hop to everywhere. It’s time to enjoy again and live. So just sing along with every catchy song and go outside. Just breath fresh air and catch some sun. At night, look at the stars and the moon and wish for your dreams to come true. Never quit believing, just keep going. Give compliments and you’ll get some back. Make others smile, you won’t regret it. Whistle until your lips give up and dance. Dance the whole day! Dance and feel happy. That’s what spring is about. I’ve missed you spring.

Feeling down...

What to do when you feel down?

Everybody has felt down, but how can you stop that feeling? Well, it’s actually not that difficult. BUT: it depends on the reason why you’re down. If you’re really deep down because of something that happened, you should talk to someone about it. Don’t think: “They don’t care” because they do. If you are just feeling down, because you are just having a bad day read on. Actually, everybody could use these tips if you’re feeling down, so yeah.

These are things I always do:

-          Lay on your bed and try to sleep

-          Try to clear up your problems

-          Find the reasons of your problems

-          Put on the radio and sing

-          Take whatever you like to eat

-          Scream at your stuffed animals

-          Draw or write down your thoughts

This one is my personal favorite:                                                                                                         

-          Sing along with your favorite songs and dance ‘till you drop

Stolen

I hope they didn't get your mind

Your heart is too strong anyway

We need to fetch back the time

They have stolen from us

When I listen to this song it feels like I can’t get hurt. Like there is a boll around me from hard glass and nobody can enter it or break the glass. It gives me rest and my worries are gone for a moment. The lyrics tell my story. I can’t stop singing it. I just want to sing the whole time: I want you! And yes, I want someone by my side. I want to be with that person and don’t leave. Just staying together and having fun, loving and not ending. The song lets you stay in kind of a dream world, a world where everything goes right, nothing wrong and worries aren’t aloud. It sounds like the perfect place to be. Maybe I’ll go there, maybe I won’t. I just need to make my own “perfect” place, at least a place where I want to be and feel good. Nothing is perfect, that’s the way it should be. Because perfect is boring. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX-QaNzd-0Y

What I want

I want to live. In less then 2 months I'll become 17 and I don't feel like I have done something in the past 17 years. Yes, I'm still young, but life goes by so quickly, I don't want to miss anything. Someday I just want to be able to say "Well I have reached so much, I'm proud of myself." I want to tell my future kids about how amazing things are and how it feels to become the person you really are. I don't want to regret chances I didn't take. I want to travel the world and help people. I want people to listen to what I say, to read what I write and to think about what I tell them. I want to do something amazing that I will never regret and something I will always be happy about. It starts with small steps, so I'm going to try to do something from my list every year. This year I want to learn how to pennyboard and I want to start writing a book. Maybe I can do those things, we will see, but most important that I will try, because now I have the chance to do those things. So one thing very important, that you can never forget: take the chances you get and just do your best.

Shout out

Sometimes I just want to scream. I want to shout at the world so everybody hears me. People should listen more to each other and think for themselves. How many times do I have to say that nobody can tell you what to do, nobody can control you. Still people don’t understand. They just do what others want them to. It’s your life! Stop! Listen to others yes, but don’t let them make your choices, because you will regret them. Nobody knows how it is to be you, so they can’t chose for you. Maybe I think too much about things, but I do have a thought about everything and I do care about what I think is better. I don’t want to make mistakes but if I do, I want them to make myself, so I can learn from it. Life is there to learn, so I’m going to do it my way. That’s my shout out at the world and hopefully you didn’t just listen, but that you heard what I meant. 

Cuddling

Everybody has those moments when you just need a hug. Just a hug form a random person, or from the once you need the most. Me being not that kind of a huggable person could use a hug sometimes. Normally I don’t like personal contact that much, well not from strangers. People close to me can hug me anytime they want, but I will never ask for a hug. Most of the time I don’t tell people how I feel. I just pretend to be ok and try to not show others how I really feel. Maybe that’s my problem, I should just ask for a hug sometimes, than I might feel better. But whenever I see someone who needs a hug, I’ll give it, although I don’t like personal contact that much with strangers, a hug can change a person and I will just do it. 

The disappointment

Probably everybody has those times that everything goes wrong. All the things you wanted to do didn’t happen or when you wanted to see people, it didn’t go through. Well, I feel awful then, because I look forward to things and I hope too much that it will happen, but okay, it makes you hard. Then you learn to have a good time even when it’s not going by plan. I’m the kind of person who always wants to plan everything so I can do well for everyone. Half the time I plan, it goes wrong. There is always something. Of course it’s really annoying and I really hate when it happens, but afterwards I don’t want to feel sad for myself. So why wouldn’t you do something else? Even when it’s just cleaning your room or doing some homework that has to be hand in 4 weeks later. Then you have done something useful and can you enjoy the time you have left because you already did those things. Nobody can ruin you day, you just need to see that yourself. 

New me

It is time to start a new chapter in my life. New me; new life; just starting my life. It wasn’t an easy time, but now I’m stronger than before and that’s all I need to be. Love hurts, people are awful, but you shouldn’t care about what others say. Just because they are insecure about themselves, you don’t have to be. There is no reason for it. Just accept the way you are and make the best out of life. Yes it is a VERY COMMEN QUOTE, but it’s true: you only live once. SO WHY SCREW IT UP?? Just don’t!! I made a click and now I’m seeing everything different. I’m just going to stay positive and try to make the best out of everything. When it’s not going well, just remember the times it was amazing and know those times come back, but only when you let them to. You really should just do whatever you think is right and learn from your faults. Don’t ever miss a chance just because you had doubts. Just go for it! It might be your only chance! From now on, I’m going to be a happy person, because I don’t want to miss out anything anymore. I don’t feel like I have lived, so before it is going to be too late, I will have lived!! So yeah, here and now I’m going to spread my wings and fly; flying to see the world. 

Like me

Like me - Jake Miller

I'm special

Bababababa
There is no one like me
Th-th-there is no one like me, like me
Ma-ma-manners take a second look and you'll see
There is no one like me
There is no one like me, like me

This song makes me think of a campfire, where everybody is laughing and having a great time. It just makes you dance and sing along. The lyrics are just the truth. Live is just like that. It just makes me want to shout it out, that I’m not perfect, but I’m just myself and that is the best I can be. There is just no one like me and I’m proud of it. That’s what this song is about. So now whenever I feel down, I just listen to this song and I feel better, because I’m not the only one whit this story. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxabdQDu4Ak

Letting go

Sometimes you love someone with whole your hart and then at one point it just stops. You can’t believe it, you loved that person so much. Love is special and it gives you beautiful memories. Maybe you say: I don’t ever want to love again, because you don’t want that pain again. That’s wrong. Love hurts, I know, but it’s what we need. We need love to be true, so we feel amazing. Remember love never stops. It will just faith away a little bit, but NEVER stop. That’s why you should love, because you made a difference in somebodies life. You meant something for them. But sometimes it’s better to let go. Although it hurts, letting go is the best you can do. Never give up on yourself, never give up on others, keep believing in dreams and love. Look at that person and smile. Think about the amazing things you did together, how beautiful your love was. One day you will feel that again and then it can only become better. You learn from your faults and you will make better choices. When you let go, you let go of that person, not of the memories and that’s what you should cherish. Love will come back, if you give it the chance. And it will be even better than before, because you know what love means.

Feeling worthless

Sometimes I just can’t take it all anymore. Everything is going wrong and the pressure is too big. It’s like I can’t do anything right for anyone and everything is my fault. I do my best, seriously, but people should not expect so much. Most of them think I can handle everything and my life is perfect, well it’s definitely NOT. It is so hard to not be the biggest disappointment in the family; to be that friend everybody counts on and nobody thinks about how I feel about something. No. You should not just assume I’m doing everything you say, going everywhere just so you are happy, because you don’t care about how I feel. You really shouldn’t think that I’m always ready to be there for you when you need me, because you are never there when I need you. I’m a person too. I do have feelings, I do need help and I do need you. Yes, maybe I do seem to have everything great and no I do not show my feelings that quickly, but is it so hard to just ask me if I’m doing ok? Like I’m always asking you? I probably should show my feelings more, but I don’t want to, because whenever I do people react weird. Like they see something that they never expected or they don’t know what to do about, but why don’t you just try? You know, every little thing helps. You might think it doesn’t, but you at least tried. That’s what it’s all about. Just show that you do care, that you do want to know how someone feels. I know, I have a good life, I have everything I need and I actually shouldn’t complain. I am very grateful for everything I have and what I’ve reached so far. Yes, there are people who have it a lot worse then I will ever get, but do know, nobody is perfect; nothing is and it just takes its toll sometimes. If everybody just would be happy with whatever they have and did care about others a little bit more, the world wouldn’t be the way it is now, it would be more peaceful and love would be more important than your selfish self. 

New year? Hell yeah!

And here we are. 2014 started and we left 2013 behind. It was a very powerful year for me. With a lot of ups and downs, but although I met the best people in the world, became myself, fell in love, felt lucky and made memories for the rest of my life. I’m happy I have all those things, I’m a lucky person and I think I deserve it too, it hasn’t been easy at all, working hard, being disappointed, lost people, problems came from everywhere. I’m glad 2013 ended, 2014 can only become better, because when you stay strong and believe in yourself others will too and with your friends/family you can overcome everything. Everybody has those New Year resolutions, but nobody sticks to it, like every year. So what I want to do in 2014? I want to be good for others, have a lot of fun and over win my fears. I want to live and nobody can stop me from doing that, because I believe I can do it and I will never give up my dreams.